


A First Step.

by Casey_K



Series: Realisations and Reparations [5]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-03-08 06:06:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3198224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Casey_K/pseuds/Casey_K
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Danny finally face each other for a moment of truth. Do they have what it takes to get their act together and make something happen?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A First Step.

**Author's Note:**

> Again, not quite as I'd foreseen this playing out but sometimes the muse gotta do what the muse gotta do.

Steve had never spent so much time in his own head. He’d spent the whole drive running though scenarios of what would be best to say first when he finally came face to face with Danny. He loved Danny so much, and with all his heart, but the stubborn mother-fucker also drove him completely insane much of the time. He tried to concentrate on the pleasant ache in his muscles to take his mind off worse case scenarios. There were far more of those than there were good ones cramming themselves into his head. 

He’d spent the first part of the drive on the phone to Chin. It wasn’t that he needed a coach, he just wanted to be reminded of the game plan. The upshot was, he needed to give Danny time to talk. No surprise really. Steve knew Danny was a talker. Danny had an opinion about everything. It was one of the reasons Steve loved him. So, he’d let Danny talk. At some point he would ask what the fuck he’d done to deserve Danny’s well-rehearsed cold-shoulder, and he’d make sure Danny understood how much it hurt. Not to score points. Just for future reference. Should it turned out they had a future together. 

It was just slipping into evening when Steve pulled up at Danny’s place; the heat of the day had left behind a mugginess that was just bearable. Steve sighed. It seemed like forever ago when he’d walked away from Danny playing Rambo without him. The memories made his limbs feel heavy, as heavy as his heart, but he forced himself out of the truck and approached Danny’s door. Tell-tale signs of the raid were still in evidence; crushed flower beds, turned up grass, a broken fence panel; it reminded Steve that his team often left a trail of destruction behind them and even though they cleared up the bad guys—most of the time—the people left behind had to deal with the fallout. 

He snorted at himself as he realised what he was doing. He was stalling. Staring at a crushed Hydrangea bush was not going to put his life back on track. He trudged the last few steps, took a deep breath, and knocked on Danny’s door. 

And then he knocked again. 

His third knock left him with sore knuckles. _What the fuck?_ Danny had tugged on Steve’s heartstrings with his desperate little ‘please’ on the phone and now he couldn’t even be bothered to wait in for Steve to get here? Steve let his forehead fall against the door. When was he going to get a break? If loving Danny was going to be this exhausting, he wasn’t sure he had it in him.

“He’s not in.” 

Steve startled, and turned to see Danny’s neighbour, Mrs Walters, peeking around her front door. It was so rare for something in his surroundings to catch him out he forgot to hold his manners. “I figured that, thank you.” He winced at himself and felt guilty. “I don’t suppose you know where he is?”

Mrs Walters studied Steve for a moment. “You’re that nice young man who always makes him laugh.” She beamed at Steve and his heart did a little flip. “I’m so happy to see you. Daniel’s been so unhappy these last few weeks. He deserves someone special.” She winked at him. “Like you, maybe, to look after him.”

“I would if he’d let me.”

“Don’t give up on him just yet.” She gave a little wave and closed the door. 

Steve stood there for a few minutes. Don’t give up. Danny needed someone to look after him, make him see sense, and yeah, that person was him. Steve would track down the stubborn son-of-a-bitch and this time he wouldn’t take no for an answer. 

Steve headed back to the truck with renewed focus. He’d stop by his place and drop off his bags and then he’d go hunting. Hopefully he’d be able to keep his temper under control until he’d let Danny have his say…but then, no one was perfect. 

 

There was distinct chill in the air as Steve turned into his drive. He could have slapped himself upside the head when he saw what was waiting for him—Danny. Seeing Danny sitting on his doorstep shouldn’t have made Steve mad, but it did. There was a hefty dose of relief in there too; that the one place Danny would run to was Steve’s house. The relief was like being under a cold shower. Steve was still angry, though. Not at Danny, but at both of them. Even in their plan to sort themselves out they’d managed to get their wires crossed—so typical. It would take some work from both of them if they were going to nip it in the bud and prevent it from tainting their new thing. 

_New thing_. That warranted a small, tight smile. The hint of promise was enough to make him turn off the engine. There was tightness across Steve’s chest as he got out of the truck and walked towards Danny. A tightness that had nothing to do with his intense exercise regime of the last few days. 

“Hey,” Danny said as Steve approached. He didn’t look up from his shoes. 

“I went to your place.” Danny looked up and Steve shrugged, they’d get to that part of the misunderstanding later. “I’m glad you’re here.” Should Steve hug him? He didn’t know. He hadn’t thought about that part. “I, uh…I think I have beer.”

“Beer would be good.” Danny stood up and allowed Steve to unlock the door. Steve stepped inside and held the door open for Danny to follow. He looked at Steve with such a sad expression Steve just wanted to pull him into a hug and never let go. “Why did you do it?”

“Do what?” Danny hadn’t even stepped through the door yet and Steve felt blindsided. Surely they weren’t going to have it out on the doorstep and then part company?

“All of it.”

Steve dropped his bag and huffed. “Look, Danny, I realise that this whole cold-shoulder thing from you is about something I’ve done wrong. I get that, I really do, but what I’d really like is for you to come in and have a beer with me so we can figure this out because I for one have no idea how we got into this mess, but I sure as hell want out of it.” Steve held his hand up to stop Danny speaking. “And I mean out of _the_ mess, not out of this,” he gestured between the two of them, “whatever it is, and whatever it’s going to be.”

Danny gave a sad smiled as though confirming he’d been about to misunderstand Steve’s words yet again. “Beer it is.” Danny stepped into the house and Steve let out a long, slow breath. He followed through to the kitchen where Danny grabbed two beers out of the fridge and turned to hand one to Steve. “So, you have no idea what you did wrong, is that what you’re telling me?”

Steve popped his bottle cap and downed half the beer. He set it carefully on the side and leaned against the counter. He was careful not to fold his arms—he didn’t want to look defensive—instead he hooked his thumbs into his pockets. Danny was eyeing him with interest. The sad, weary look tweaked at something in Steve’s chest. It was time to put that right. “Danny, there’s no point me second guessing, you know how bad I am at that. Just tell me what I did and I’ll try to explain what it was supposed to be.”

Danny chose to sit at the table. He leaned forward on his knees and clasped his hands together. “I just thought you’d choose me.”

Steve stared. Of all the things he’d imagined Danny coming up with, _that_ was not on the list.

“Don’t give me the face, Steven.” The sudden volume increase made Steve jump. “You told me you loved me.” And the arm waving had started, but that was a good sign, it was quiet Danny that was worrying. “You let me think you were going to finish with Catherine and start something with me, and then you left me hanging. You chose her.”

Steve’s jaw dropped. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“The tux, the romantic sweeping off into the sunset, the kissing in front of everyone. You made it very clear where your affections were heading.”

Anger bubbled up from a deep place inside and Steve couldn’t stop it. “That’s what all this has been about? You’ve been ignoring my calls, pushing me away, had me considering returning to active duty, just because I did what _you_ asked me to do?”

Danny jumped to his feet and started pacing. “Asked you? When then the _fuck_ did I ask you to humiliate me in front of our friends, huh? When did I ask you to go all out on the romance with someone else and make me feel as though my confessions of love were worthless to you? When did I say that? I didn’t say that, Steven. I said if you wanted this, you had to _end_ that, not take it to the next level.”

 _Holy fucking cow._ “You thought I was taking it to the next level with Cath?” Steve was so mad he could spit feathers. “And it didn’t occur to you to ask me about it?”

“What was there for you to say? Thanks Danny, but I guess Cath was more important than I thought, I don’t want to lose her so I guess that means you’re out of luck.”

“You fucking idiot.” Danny’s mouth opened but no words came out. “You said, you _told_ me, Daniel, that I was not to cancel any plans I’d already made with Cath. Those were your very words and I followed them to the letter even though I didn’t want to, didn’t see the point. But I talked it through with Cath and she agreed it would be a fun way to say goodbye.”

Danny stopped on the spot. “Say goodbye?” The heat had drained from his voice.

“Yes, Daniel, say goodbye. We didn’t even have sex because I didn’t think it would be fair to her after I’d just called time on our little arrangement.” Not that he’d wanted to anyway, but that was a whole other story. “Cath and I haven’t had sex since we made our little confessions in the car because I am a decent person.” Steve paused to let that sink in. All of this pain, nearly throwing away something special, and for what? “That kiss you saw, the one you decided was me choosing her over you, that was the last kiss we had. And at the end of the evening—and just so you are very clear, we had dinner and went dancing—I dropped her to her place, she kissed me on the cheek and told me not to break your heart or she’d come after me. Instead, you broke mine.” Danny was silent. So silent, Steve was worried. “Well, _say_ something!”

“All those times you tried to call,” Danny croaked. “When you were trying to talk to me, get me to come to your place after work?”

“You said to finish with Cath and then we’d talk. I did everything you asked. I finished with Cath, I tried to talk, but you just shut me out. I thought you’d changed your mind, or were suddenly freaked out because I basically admitted to stalking you.”

Danny edged closer and Steve instinctively pressed back into the counter unsure whether Danny was going to punch him. “And when you turned up at my place?”

Steve let out a long sigh and his shoulders slumped. What happened to letting Danny do the talking? “Kono heard about the situation at your building. We didn’t have any details. I thought…” Steve gave a full body shudder. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay, thought it would be a good chance to work things out.”

“But I pushed you away again.”

“You had a new friend that day,” Steve said sadly. He dropped his gaze to the floor. It was all too much. He felt like a kid with a crush on the quarterback. He snorted a laugh. Of course, he’d actually been the quarterback. “You made it clear you couldn’t stand to be around me anymore, that I was cramping your style.”

“So you left.”

Steve looked up. Danny was just a few steps away now. “I couldn’t stand by and watch you go off with someone else.”

“I had to watch you go off with Cath.” Danny’s voice was quiet, his expression questioning but still laced with the hurt and anguish they’d put each other through. “You didn’t even look at me.”

“I couldn’t.” Steve wanted so badly to reach out and touch, to pull Danny closer and never let him go. “If I’d have looked at you, I wouldn’t have been able to go through with it. It should have been you I was whisking away. Don’t you think I know that, don’t you think I wanted that?” Steve sighed. “I just thought, after everything, Cath deserved a good send off. She’s put up with a lot from me over the years and she’s never complained. I wanted to do that one thing for her as a thank you.”

“It hurt so much.” Danny’s voice was raw with emotion and a single tear rolled down his cheek. Steve cursed himself for not being able to wrap Danny in his arms and kiss away the hurt but he was still rooted to the spot unable to move. At the same time, Danny’s confession—accusation, that Steve would do something like that intentionally—well, it hurt, and it unlocked a whole heap of bitterness. 

“I had no idea, Danny, that you had so little faith in me that you’d think I would do something like that to hurt you.” Steve tried to keep the resentment out of his voice but he knew he was failing. “And in what world would I ever choose anyone over you? I thought I’d made my feelings very clear.”

“In the cold light of day, it all looked very different.”

And there it was. Steve could understand Danny’s view, to a point. He just didn’t get how Danny would think him capable of doing something like that, and why he wouldn’t just ask him. He sighed. It wasn’t as though he was any better at saying what was on his mind. Something would have to give if they were ever going to get through this. They couldn’t both be ‘suffer in silence’ types. With that in mind, Steve decided to push on with the root of some of his pain. “And you?”

There was only a foot between them now, and Danny cocked his head to one side. “Me what?”

“You and Agent I-hate-McGarrett-for-no-reason-whatsoever. Did you have fun?”

“I didn’t sleep with her, you numbskull. God, as if.”

“Why not, she was obviously willing.”

And the pacing started again. “I was too broken up over you. And she got a bit scary. And,” Steve was comforted by the arm waving, “I didn’t like the way she spoke to you, which I told her by the way.”

“You stuck up for me?” Steve gave Danny a small smile. “What did she say?”

Danny beamed back at him. “She said she hoped we’d be very happy together.”

Steve laughed. It came out of the blue, grabbed him, and held on. He had to hold his stomach to keep upright. Danny just stared. “It wasn’t that funny.”

The belly laugh subsided and Steve chuckled. “She said she thought the rumours about us were true when I told her I’d end her if all she was going to do was fuck you and shout about it.”

“Shout about it?”

“She was going on about having some kind of rating system. I think she must be sleeping her way around the United States and keeping score cards. I know of Marshalls who do that, I suppose it’s not a stretch to think FBI would too.” And just like that, a whole world of hurt slipped away and for the first time in to long Steve felt like they were back on solid ground.

“Huh.” Danny smirked. “I don’t think she’d have had a rating high enough to score me.”

“Is that right?”

“You don’t believe me?” Danny stepped in front of Steve again, but didn’t touch. His look was so intense, the humour having faded away. “I’m so sorry for what I did to you, Steven, for how I made you feel.” Danny brushed a hand over Steve’s chest and they both shuddered. “I think we’ve tortured each other enough and I am willing to put this behind us and move on, if you’re willing to forgive me.”

Steve pulled Danny into a well overdue hug and squeezed tight. The relief was overwhelming and his knees wobbled. “Danny, I was so scared.” The feel of Danny’s arms around him, stroking his back, Danny’s head on his shoulder was all so good.

“But you have to promise me something?”

“Anything. Anything you want, Danny.”

“Next time, and there will be a next time despite our best efforts…but next time we just say whatever it is,” Danny nestled in closer, “however stupid it may seem, and we don’t just bury it and assume the worst, okay?”

“Sounds good to me. Do I get to kiss you now?”

“And…”Danny put his hand up to Steve’s lips as he moved in for a kiss and Steve growled with frustration. “You ever threaten to sign deployment papers because you’re mad with me, and I mean ever, _ever_ , I will shoot you, do you understand?” 

Ah, that was the Danny Steve loved. He suddenly realised how much he’d missed him. 

“Not dead,” Danny added, “just maimed enough that you wouldn’t be of any use to your beloved Army…”

“Navy, Danny.”

“…your beloved _Navy_ …and you’d have to stay with me.”

“I’ll always stay with you.”

“How can you say that," Danny said, trying to mask his obvious amusement, "when you don’t even know if we have chemistry?” Steve grinned as he remembered Danny getting him all flustered in the car what seemed like a lifetime ago. 

“Oh, we have chemistry all right,” Steve said, and he brought their lips together for what he hoped would be the last ‘first kiss’ ever for them both.

**Author's Note:**

> I think there will be a few more 'make-up' scenes to follow.


End file.
